How I Prepared for Pregnancy

For most of my life, I had no desire to be a mom. I just never pictured it for myself. Then one day, something shifted.

It wasn't a dramatic, overnight change, but more of a quiet conviction from God that this was the path I was meant to take. I brought it up to my wife, and to my surprise, she'd been feeling the same way. That mutual sense of calling gave us the confidence to start exploring what it might look like to grow our family.

Not long after, we began working with a fertility clinic.

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Knowing It Was Time

Before starting, we spent a lot of time talking and reflecting — asking if we were truly ready and what that even meant. Around that same time, a message shared at church was all about how the Holy Spirit will push you and challenge you to go in certain directions that you may not have envisioned for yourself.

I remember that as we were sitting in the sanctuary listening to the message, my wife and I both turned and looked at each other, intuitively knowing what God was telling us.

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Preparing My Heart and Mind

I'm naturally calm, logical, and emotionally steady — which helped during all the testing, waiting, and procedures. But even so, preparing to become a parent stirred things in me I didn't expect.

I've had a complicated relationship with my parents, and I often found myself reflecting on how I wanted to parent differently. My biggest fear was that my child would ever feel unloved or unsafe with me. That fear became motivation — to heal, to grow, and to make conscious choices that would shape me into the kind of mother I wanted to be.

Preparing for pregnancy wasn't just about getting my body ready; it was about getting my mind and heart ready too.

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Preparing Together

My wife and I talked about everything — finances, parenting styles, schooling, food, childcare, and how our relationship might shift. We also talked a lot about how we wanted to approach life with a child — the kind of rhythm we hoped to have as a family, what we wanted our home to feel like, and what values we wanted to raise our baby around.

We didn't want to just "figure it out as we went." We wanted to go in aligned, knowing that we'd talked through as many scenarios as we could, while still staying flexible for whatever surprises parenthood might bring.

I also dove into research about pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood. I read books, followed evidence-based resources, and asked every question I could think of. I wanted to go into this experience informed — not because I thought I could control it, but because I wanted to be an active participant in the process.

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Preparing My Body and Lifestyle

On the physical side, I made intentional changes. I focused on eating real food, switched from low-fat to full-fat dairy to support hormone health, lifted weights, and went on daily walks.

I also made sure to slow down and stay grounded — through devotionals, reading, and spending time outdoors. Those moments helped me keep perspective and stay centered.

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The Waiting Season

As a same-sex couple, we went through intrauterine insemination (IUI).

Our first attempt didn't work. Even though we knew the odds, it was still a hard pill to swallow. You spend two weeks hoping, planning, and imagining — and when it doesn't happen, it stings.

We gave ourselves time to process, then tried again the next cycle. The waiting between those attempts was uncomfortable, but it taught me so much about patience, hope, and not forcing a timeline.

Our second attempt worked — and I'll never forget the mix of shock, relief, and gratitude when we saw that positive test.

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What I Learned

I'm a planner. I like structure, routine, and control. But this process taught me that sometimes, no matter how well you prepare, life still unfolds in its own timing.

There's value in the preparation — the research, the reflection, the healthy habits. But there's also value in letting go of what you can't control and focusing on what you can.

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If You're Preparing for Pregnancy

Every woman's journey looks different, but here's what I'd tell anyone getting ready to take that step:

• Take care of your body — eat well, rest, and move daily.
• Reflect on your mental and emotional health.
• Talk openly with your partner about what life might look like after baby.
• Do your research, but don't let it consume you.
• And remember that growth — both physical and emotional — takes time.

Preparing for pregnancy isn't about chasing perfection. It's about showing up for yourself, being intentional, and trusting that when the time is right, everything you've done to prepare will matter.

Love & Lattes,
Kris